I Miss Him

I guess before talkin about the bad stuff that i had in mind... i should start of with the goods, so itll make more sense. We met in highschool. I was a junior, he was in his senior year.. u noe how boys r wen they tryna spit games at a girl.. well i found out he got a gf from a friend of mine. i stopped talkin to him since then. But this dude jst wont go away.. at all. a yr passed, im in my last yr of hs, hes a freshman at a college. we hardly see each other..and i didn care, bc i didn wana have nuthin to do wit him in tha first place. He wud still call me up, we jst talk thru tha phone..most times he wants to come see me, im on my usual excuse :) Wen he b askin me to tha movies..yea i said yes..bt i always have sumthing to say so i wont go wen the day comes.. until one day, i decided to actually go (wat was i suppose to do?) bt we see each other from time to time... bt not a lot at all. i always try to avoid him..always. His chances to see me are so small, bt it workd bc he neva gave up.. thats the thing that makes me like him the most. To me, it seems like evrything we went thru in our own personal life (good and bad) happens as if to shape our future together. Like..for me..no matter where i go, he always ends up there. Example.. aint it funny that ive been tryin to avoid him for so long and he happen to move rite across tha street from me. literally. Then he fell for me.. and i fell for him too.
I noticed the changes in me since ive been with him. I dont mind because i find another side of me. Its like, in life.. you need someone to complete you. Now i feel complete since being with him. I was always tough..especially to myself. I am my own worst enemy. That was some time ago. I now find the opposite of my personality, thats why i feel whole with him... It doesnt work if im the only one feeling this way bein in a relationship... But wen i mentioned this to him.. he said he felt the same too. It put a smile on my face, nd i hope wat he said was true. Out of anything and everything i can miss about Lincolnton...his face is what i miss the most.






Thru this hard time that we're apart from each other, can only see each other thru tha webcam, talk thru chat..the fights we have is soo often. Its scary bc idk how much more i can take... idk how much more HE can take. We NEVER fight like we do now when we were still together. One of the things that keep me goin is the memory of him..wenever i think about what we went thru..i'd find myself smiling. But wen we fight, its like i dont even wana think of the good times we once shared. Sometimes i go to sleep with a pair of wet cheeks, tears just started flowing... I wish we can be like a normal couple..can be with each other anytime they like..even if they cant..seeing each other isnt impossible like me and him. I cant find the moon.. the billions of stars existed is hard to find here....with all this bright lights, crowds gathering, smiling faces everywhere.. i still feel all alone. And i feel like no matter who im around..ill still feel the same, til the day i get to see him again.